Sex and the Single Christian Male
It is surprising and dismaying to realize how the devil can work on a fellow when he does not understand some of the simple physiological mechanics of his own body. In the first place, we are very sexual creatures; we were so created. The sex drive in a man gives masculine characteristics and the drive to lead and succeed in all areas of life.
Because the sex drive is so very strong (second strongest in the body), it is something with which you will always have to live. It will do no good to mope around, wishing you were a eunuch. Evidence of the sex drive is to be a source of rejoicing, not sorrow. How very sad indeed if you had none at all, and were incapable of stimulation — less than a man!
Because human beings are physically able to become parents long before they are mature enough to assume the duties and responsibilities of parenthood,there has to be a wise reason in God’s economy for this. I believe it is that God has determined this to be a time in which fellows and girls are given time to learn self-control. Temperance or self-control is a highly valued quality in God’s sight. In a time of peaking passions and strong sexual urges and desires which have no legitimate outlet, God has provided a time for testing and teaching this virtue. As James points out, the raw material from which patience is manufactured is trial and testing. (James 1:2-4)
Even in marriage there is not unlicensed satisfaction of sexual drives for there are times when abstinence and continence must be practiced. At times such as during the menstrual cycle, periods of geographical separation from the wife, and during pregnancy, sexual relations are either undesirable or impossible. If a man has not learned self-discipline in the matters of sex as he grows up, but has gratified his every sexual whim, he will not be likely to exercise restraint and control during these periods. This can and does lead to much dissatisfaction and tension in his marriage relationship. This lack of discipline will show up in other areas of his life also, not just in those related to sex. Many men are like spoiled brats who selfishly gratify themselves with no consideration for others.
The basic problem is to learn to live with the sex drive and avoid sexual impurity and the punishing guilt which follows such involvements. Satan will urge a man to satisfy himself and prove his virility by sleeping with a girl. This is actually rather pointless. In the first place, such a relationship is basically selfish and merely uses another person to satisfy selfish desires. This can not lead to anything good or wholesome. In the second place, it places one into conflict with God’s law against fornication and adultery.
Actually all that such episodes prove is that the man has a penis and testicles,and that they work as they were intended to function. Even if a baby is conceived as a result of this illicit union, all that is shown is an already well known fact. Fully 99% of all males have sex organs which work, and, after puberty, they are capable of impregnating a fertile female. This is scarcely earth-shattering news. Dogs, cats, cattle, horses and pigs are all capable of copulation which leads to the production of offspring. The chief difference in human reproduction is that, in God’s plan, they can not only produce offspring (within the bonds of holy matrimony), but the man can then offer shelter and loving support for both wife and children. His duty is to rear the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
When a young man becomes a Christian and renounces the past, including sexual sins of impurity, Satan immediately sets about to trip him up in the matter of this strong sex drive. He attacks by bringing great pressure to force him into sexual outlets, especially masturbation. Most of the time this habit has established itself early in a boy’s life and continues in spite of efforts to dislodge it. Many times older fellows introduce the younger ones to the enslaving pastime.
Although this practice usually does no physical harm, the aftermath of shame, guilt, condemnation and failure are debilitating. Masturbation is a form of self-indulgence and self-love, strictly a selfish pleasure. Sex was intended to be shared and given, not to be used for sensation and physical release.
To accomplish his designs, Satan works on the vanity of the male ego. He also bends to his purpose physiological facts of male anatomy of which many young men are unaware. One of the problems faced by the celibate man is that of the morning erection. Almost without exception, each morning he will awake with penis full erect. The devil immediately assures him that this is definite evidence of his potency and that he is so heavily sexed that he needs relief. This can be a pretty convincing argument. Although masturbation leads to an orgasm and a spasm of relief, it is followed by side effects of chiding accusation by the accuser. This can bring genuine sorrow and even despair for the man who has broken his promise to himself and the Lord to abstain. Like so many of Satan’s gimmicks, this one leads to torment in exchange for a momentary gratification.
The more times a man had crossed the sexual lines of demarcation in the past, whether in masturbation, heterosexual or homosexual activities, the more difficulties he will have in breaking with the past. This is a simpler matter of sowing and reaping, and must be expected and guarded against. Satan has a way of dredging up every filthy and exciting moment of the past to hurl at his prey — at his weakest moment — to inflame and engulf him with passion. Not only does the enemy trade on your actual experiences, but those which you have witnessed or about which you have heard or read (pornography). These too will be used to bring surrender to lust. Self pity is also employed to goad the man into the act.
Regarding the morning erection; the devil lies, the man is not oversexed at all. If he will go to the washroom and urinate, most of the time the erection automatically deflates. The cause was physiological, not sexual. During the night urine accumulates in the bladder which lies upon the prostrate gland. As the pressure from the urine in the bladder increases, sensitive nerves in the prostrate are triggered, producing erection of the penis. There are other times when passion presses strongly. Again, there is at least a partial reason for this, from a physical standpoint. As the hormones and seminal fluid build up in their various reservoirs (prostrate gland and testicles), the organs may become slightly swollen, even a bit sore. During these times the male tends to be more irritable and has a feeling of being under pressure and tension, without necessarily knowing why.
The following is an excerpt from “The Devilsh Side of Sex, Booklet #1″ by Pastor Win Worley. Copyright © 1983 by Win Worley, Revised © 1991. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including storage and retrieval system, without securing permission in writing form the publisher, WRW Publications, PO BOX 9309, Highland, IN 46322.
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