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Reversing the Rejection Syndrome

 

Rejection is the sense of being unwanted, the agony of desperately wanting people to love you but being convinced they do not.  They actually may be loving and accepting but when you are suffering rejection you are unable to believe or receive it.  There is an aching desire to be a part of something but never feeling that you are.  Isaiah wrote about a woman who had suffered a deep and terrible spiritual wound because of rejection.

“For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit and a wife of youth when thou wast refused, saith thy God.”  (Isaiah 54:6)

To compensate for rejection some become withdrawn like a turtle in his shell for protection.  Others explode with anger and hatred, fighting bitterly against the pain and injustice.  Rejected people often spend their lives seeking a meaningful identity outside of a true relationship with God.  Jesus declared Himself to be the way to the Heavenly Father.  Ultimately all need to be reconciled in a personal relationship with God the Father through Jesus Christ, empowered by the Holy Spirit.

Children who grow up without fathers always lack an identity.  This results in a frantic life long search for one, struggling to be somebody.  God’s people today are seeking an identity.  This explains the success of the rash of bogus religious prophets and teachers who are leading people astray.  In the church, rejected Christians often struggle to be the spiritual one driven by this craving for identity.  Spiritual gifts are sometimes perceived as a means of securing this status and recognition.

Your deliverance must produce at least two things if it is to be meaningful.  First, a deepening love for the Lord in every aspect of life.  Secondly, you begin to love your neighbor as yourself.  Without agape love it is immaterial how much faith, how many gifts you possess, or what kind of miracles you may perform (I Corinthians 13).  All are simply twisted perversions striving against rejection unless they are rooted and driven by this agape love.

Just being a believer is fulfilling and gives an identity which satisfies.  If there is a special calling on your life, you need not strive to attain it.  God will bring it to pass.  “If ye be willing and obedient you shall possess the land.”   Working in the flesh will not force it to happen.

One young man tells of how rejection wrecked his life.  “I was born out of wedlock under the curse of the bastard (Deuteronomy 23:2).  Given up for adoption, I was reared in a good home by great foster parents.  However, my entire life was marked with rebellion and a fierce struggle against rejection.

“When I was about 18 my rebellion drove me to literally go crazy.  I plunged into all of the drugs and became what was called a speed (amphetamine) freak.  Eight years ago I weighed 144 pounds and had hair down to my waist.  This was my savage reaction to being rejected.

“I became a rock and roll musician and was determined to drive myself into stardom in a desperate search for an identity.  I was determined to make it in the world and thus prove my own worth to everyone.

“In the entertainment business I collected a portfolio of 200 letters turning me down.  This finally broke me and brought me to Jesus Christ.  I was accepted by Someone much greater than those who had spurned me!

“I planted a church in New York City, working with another man.  Building it up from the two persons who started out with me, I joyfully toiled for four years.  Later another took over by telling lies about me.  I was repudiated by every believer in that ministry.

“After being forced out of my ministry God brought me something far more fulfilling.  The Lord has His own way of bringing things to pass.  This helped me to overcome my dependence on men’s approval.”

“The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity, but a wounded spirit who can bear?  (Proverbs 18:1-4)

“The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.”  (Proverbs 18:8)

Wounded spirits, broken hearts and malicious words cause unbearable wounds.  Rejection operates in the spiritual realm but also createsphysical problems.  Heaviness makes the heart stoop but a good word makes it glad (Proverbs 12:25).  Wounds of rejection and a broken heart can produce depression which alters the countenance and adversely affects the spiritual area of life.

David said his soul melted because of heaviness (Psalm 119:28).  This was rooted in deep hurt within, encompassing reasoning, the emotions and the ability to choose.  All are tremendously affected by the injuries of a broken heart.  Proverbs 17:22 says that a merry heart does good like a medicine but a broken spirit dries the bones; produces spiritual and physical sickness.

“For what man knoweth the things of a man save the spirit of man which is in him, even so the things of God knoweth no man but the Spirit of God.” (I Corinthians 2:11)

There are things an individual may not know consciously.  Because the wounds are hidden the victim does not feel constantly rejected, nevertheless he is crucially affected by this power.  This must be dealt with decisively and only the Holy Spirit can reveal this root problem and how to cope with the rejection which all believers receive.

The leaves, trunk and limbs of a tree are obvious but the roots are hidden.  Outward manifestation of sins and problems such as lust, drinking, smoking, cursing, etc., are like the leaves.  Preaching can cut them off but they will quickly grow back for they are still nourished by the roots.

The trunk of the tree is similar to a person who admits much hate or family pressure in his life.  This produces a false responsibility or burden and a false compassion.  Sin’s power working on the surface could even drive one into fornication or adultery.

When a tree is cut down, the stump remains.  Like rejection, the root system remains hidden below.  Most seldom see that their chief or root problem is rejection, not adultery, fornication or fantasy.  These are merely symptoms of the underlying root problem which must be faced before there can be much improvement.

Roots do not exist independently but build up into a tangled system.  Pulling them up is a life changing experience for this destroys the intimidation felt by victims of rejection.  Some fear deliverance because it means such a drastic personality change.  They fear that to lose this lifelong handicap will leave them vulnerable.

Feeling or being unloved sets in motion a harsh rejection pattern.  Oftentimes they are unhappy with their appearance, jobs, marriages, etc.  Even as untreated physical wounds may become infected, spiritual and emotional wounds also fester and grow worse if neglected.

The cruelest cuts come when those who should love and nurture are negligent and indifferent.  Deep rejection can begin before birth by rejection from the womb.  An unwanted pregnancy because of illegitimacy, economic hardships or marital upset marks the infant with rejection.

Usually the first child in a family is shown great love. When the second arrives he begins to receive love also.  However when a third child follows it may seem that suddenly all the love is transferred to the newcomer.  This can cause the second youngster to feel neglected.  Remember that both real and imaginary  rejection do the same damage to the one who believes himself to be deprived.

The illegitimate child is a constant reminder of the situation which produced the birth.  Sometimes the parents heap their own guilt and frustration upon the innocent child, rebuffing him.  Much child abuse comes from by distraught, emotionally immature adults.

Rejection is a root from which sprouts the Fear of Rejection and Self Rejection.  These powerful spirits are a triple dose having the power to totally warp and destroy the personality.  Everyone has known some fine Christian who is loved and accepted by his peers.  However, the fear of rejection will push him so that he precipitates it by overcompensating, by striving for that which he already has!

Desperately desiring acceptance he becomes a boring and annoying pest.  No matter how much others love him he never feels it.  He senses rejection everywhere and redoubles his efforts to be accepted, creating rejection.

“For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which of I was afraid of is come unto me.”  (Job 3:25)

This enemy tactic perpetuates the demon spirit.  By constantly magnifying and overemphasizing the rejection syndrome the victim rejects and hates himself.  Believers must cease telling themselves that they are too fat, too thin, too big, too small, too tall, too short etc.  This further reinforces that demonic negative image.  According to Ephesians 2:10, we are the workmanship of God.  Made in the similitude of God we must not curse what God has made.  Accept yourself as a unique person, sealed by a God who will deal with any imperfections.

Rejection feeds many other things.  Depression berates constantly that nobody cares and will help you have a pity party at any time.  Self Pity says nobody likes or appreciates you in spite of your sacrificial, saintly giving of yourself.  This is Rejection in religious garb, working to produce and feed Depression.

Rejection creates something very prominent in Christian circles.  We have dubbed it Insecurity Intimidation,  for it promotes being intimidated by everything.  Any time someone else is blessed or shares a testimony, it strikes viciously.  When gifts are manifested in church there is skepticism because these are seen as threats.  This mentality puts up shields and walls to keep others at a distance effectively thwarting any loving outreach.

In his day, Isaiah branded temple worshippers as wicked and two-faced (Isaiah 1).  Without love, they oppressed hired hands, withholding wages on the Sabbath.  Piously they protested that they were only paying tithes.  How typical of so many in churches today who loudly claim to love one another.  Behind this corrupt facade the Lord finds no genuine love or honesty there.  Everyone is striving to be religious rather than to be a servant.

God is searching for the genuinely grateful and thankful; he seeks those who do not put on religious airs, feigning special anointings and other false trappings.  Agape love is to be given in deed and truth.  We are not to await deliverance or others returning our love to do this.

Rejection also breeds lust, the counterfeit for love.  Satan will insinuate that although mom did not pick you up or hug you when you were young, he plans something very special for you.  After you have experienced the ultimate lust experience, you learn it is insatiable.  Only Christian agape love brings lasting satisfaction and brings edifying peace into the heart.

Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft (I Samuel 15:23).  Possessiveness and powerful control are the essence of witchcraft.  This can be true of pastors, but is wrong, for the Holy Spirit must control and lead.  Unfortunately there are few pastors who do not resort to manipulation of people.  Many times feigned {false} praise, or fear and condemnation is used.  This produces the works of the flesh (pride, anger, violence etc.) not the fruit of the Spirit.

The current trend of rock music, punk rock, rap, etc., all manifest demons of rejection.  Literally they scream, “Look at me!  Notice me!”  Those suffering the heaviest rejection have the most bizarre and outlandish outfits and styles, vainly striving for attention and acceptance.

Various patterns can observed and violence predominates in some.  For example, how many things can you pierce through your nose and ears?  They even try to bump heads when dancing.  Rebellion breeds a foul root of Bitterness which produces Hatred and Angry Resentment.

Rejection takes you either through depression to the point of being suicidal or to seeking escape through supernatural power and falling into the occult trap.  God rejected King Saul and his rebellion drove him to become entangled in witchcraft.  Rejection spirits will perpetuate and entrench themselves unless deliverance intervenes.

Parental bondage may cause them to reject you, because they were incapable of giving you the love you craved and needed.  When you have children, your own bondage can cause you to reject them and block you from giving them the love they need.  This terrible curse and its spirits are passed down the family line for generations.

Everyone needs deliverance from rejection.  The injuries received after becoming a born again believer may be more painful because of previous experiences.  Rejection builds upon everything which happens to us, continually compounding the injuries and sensitivity to them.  Demons work constantly to steal, kill and destroy.

Jesus Christ was the most rejected human being in history.  When He lives within you, remember the world is still  rejecting Him.  Expect to receive rebuff from every area of life simply because you are a believer.

“Blessed are ye when men shall revile you and persecute you and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake.” (Matthew 5:11)

“If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

“If ye were of the world, the world would love his own, but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

“Remember the word that I said unto you, the servant is not greater than His lord.  If they have persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept My saying, they will keep yours also.”  (John 15:18-20)

Although the spirits can be removed, Rejection will continue to attack.  Casting out the spirits will make you to be able to cope much more easily.  As with other areas of demonic infestation, you must learn to hold and occupy the ground which has been freed.

Ultimately God has only one goal for man, to be controlled by His love.  Romans 8:3 says that through Christ God is going to fulfil the righteousness of the law in us.  All of the commandments will be fulfilled when we love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind and soul and our neighbor as ourselves. (Matthew 22:38; Mark 12:20,29)

“And hope maketh not ashamed because the love of God, now that is the agape love of God, is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto you.”  (Romans 5:5)

The love of God can be received in our lives is by an outpouring of the Holy Spirit.  This will not necessarily change our character but God also wants to build the experience into our character, step by step.

“And besides this, giving all diligence add to your faith virtue, and to virtue knowledge, to knowledge temperance, to temperance patience and to patience godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness and to brotherly kindness charity, God’s divine love. (2 Peter 1:5-7)

Thus God transforms our character to conform to this kind of love.  Unless these principles are added to your character you will not arrive at God’s agape love.  Others may introduce you to this and even whet your appetite for it.  The transforming of our character comes only when we follow the program outlined above.  We must make a disciplined effort to achieve these things.

“For even hereunto were ye called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that ye should follow His steps.

“Who did not sin, neither was guile found in his mouth;

“Who, when He was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but He committed Himself to Him that judgeth righteously.” (I Peter 2:21-23)

When you follow Jesus’ steps you will meet obstacles which are allowed there by God.  He knows all about rejection, for He suffered this from His own family, His generation, His entire race and religious contemporaries.  The Jews chose a murderer instead of Him.  To deal with rejection we must follow our Savior.  When He was rejected by men (Isaiah 53:3) He said,

“Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

One sure sign of demonic oppression is self centeredness.  Even when Jesus was dying, He was more concerned about others than Himself.  Each time we are rejected or betrayed we must forgive (Matthew 26:47-49).  Loving and forgiving has been ordained by Jesus, as has persecution for righteousness sake and being rejected.

“Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

“But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” (1 Peter 4:12,13)

The following is an excerpt from “Rooting Out Rejection and Hidden Bitterness, Booklet #44″ by Pastor Win Worley. Copyright © 1992 by Win Worley. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including storage and retrieval system, without securing permission in writing from the publisher, WRW Publications, PO Box 852626, Mesquite, TX 75185.

If you’d like to obtain your own copy of not only this, but other materials authored by Win Worley, please contact WRW Publications at www.wrwpublications.com

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